Dammit Warmie! You come here and lay a guilt trip on me, and then splitsville. Alrighty then. I am going to write.

Warmie wants to hear about my adventures on the highway. I think she is hoping for something like the antics I was involved in a few years back when running groceries to southern Alberta. If you are interested in some of My Greatest Hits from yesteryear, here are a few GREAT writings…..

Philosophy on Life

…It is my resolution that I will not cause any disasters on highway 63. However, I am not resolved to not being involved in any. I will hold my lane from now on. I won’t drive on the shoulder to give way to ass-holes (I may use the shoulder for other trucks and buses). Should one of these morons decide to try to take me out, good luck ass-wipe. I outweigh and outsize you. I stand a 92% chance of living through the experience while yours is MUCH lower. To the moron’s who ride my ass end trying to save fuel, good luck. Moose can end up in my cab and hurt me. I see a moose in the road my decision is to save my life by jamming my brakes. If this means you drive into the back of my trailers and subsequently die, SO BE IT!! Bye Bye!

Blankety Blank Blank Blank

…Somehow I must break out of this blogger’s block. Thank the gods I don’t make my living writing here. I would soon go broke.

Of course I am suffering from driver’s block as well. I have an important road test coming up some time in the near future. No big deal, I’ve been through a dozen or more road tests over the years. The problem is, for this test everything has to be done PROPERLY!

Be Careful What you Wish For (Take 2)

…Edmonton was fully involved in a snow storm. Great! Off to work I go. For the next four days (five since I volunteered to work Saturday) I am going to be running turnpikes to Calgary (see picture at top of blog). All hooked up and ready to go, Chris and I head out to the highway. We are both operating units that are over 120 feet long and weigh in at over 130,000 pounds, 34 wheels, three articulation points this is the most fun you can have with your boots on!!

I chose to drive trucks why?

…Every Day is a Sunday drive. My ASS! How many people find themselves sitting in traffic on the Quesnell Bridge in Edmonton because some MORON couldn’t wait to jam his big assed dodge hemi in a hole not big enough for a bicycle, on their Sunday Drives?

Talking About: Lousy Drivers

…Two more deliveries like this and I am on my way to Lethbridge with not one, but TWO trailers. By now it is 3 pm and the animals have awoken and are hungry.

I have just finished re-reading all of these entries and having a great chuckle. After reading these, it is hard to imagine that I can come up with anything quite so witty. However, since Warmie asked, ever so nicely, I will fill everyone in on what I am up to these days……

Having once again left behind a nice, comfortable , easy job complete with air conditioning and a soft office

chair, I am once again behind the wheel of a big truck. This time I am the owner of the truck, and all the responsibility that comes with ownership rests on my shoulders.

I am now the president of a LTD company and have to not only driver the truck, but pay the bills and deal with all the regulatory B.S. that comes with ownership. Oh well, at least I get to hear “Hail to the Chief” when I walk into a room.

I run from Edmonton to Winnipeg and back hauling auto

parts for General Motors Canada. Unfortunately, except for the odd sideways slide down the highway on ice, or the more likely experience of dodging deer and cattle on the highway, to date this run has not provided much that would make for entertaining writing here.

Since the run has to be completed on such a tight schedule, it is necessary to run it as a team. Direct was good enough, if GOOD is the correct word, to provide me with a partner until I hire one of my own. I could definitely tell stories unfortunately Bob is a sensitive soul and when anyone makes fun of him or tries to joke about him he gets pissy and threatens to quit. So the best material I have available can’t be written (until Bob is no longer working with/for me).

I am sure there will be some funny things to write about given some time. Sadly, with only prairie between here and Winnipeg, not counting the 2 hills in Saskatchewan and the four hills in Manitoba, the road doesn’t offer up much a of a challenge at this time of the year.

I will keep my trusty Blackberry at the ready from now on. When something funny happens I will make note and write as soon as I get home. Keep checking back, keeping an eye open for the Old SIRTHINKS sense of humour to kick in.

Until then…. Keep on Truckin’